I am 22 years old and I finally found my princess.

When I was growing up, figuring out which Disney Princess was your favorite was one of the most important discussions a girl ever had with her friends. Most girls chose their favorite based on which one was most like them. That’s how it’s supposed to work, but for those of us who were huge Disney Princess fans and couldn’t ever figure out which princess we were most like, that sucked.

My favorite was the one with whom I would have most liked to be friends, so that changed pretty often (usually going back and forth between Ariel and Cinderella.) As much as I have always loved all of them there was never a princess with whom I truly identified.

Think about that. Every other girl I knew growing up found her princess by the time she was 10. When you’re a 10 year old girl you have heard over and over again how important it is to fit in and you want so badly to do so. You listen to your friends choose their princesses and it all makes sense – they are all theirs and you want one of your own. And when you can never figure out which one is yours you just pick one, almost at random. Your friends don’t get why you chose that princess because she’s not actually very much like you at all and you feel like you need to justify the things you claim as your own, but you can’t explain it either because there really isn’t any sort of explanation.

It doesn’t seem important now, but when you’re 10 it is. It is very important because for that one conversation – one that seems to repeat itself over and over again – it is the one thing that makes you feel isolated. And the things that make you feel isolated as a child don’t ever really leave you, so somewhere in the back of your mind it continues to be important as you get older. The conversation even repeats itself when you’re in high school and when you get into college.

In the moments when you feel isolated, like you don’t quite fit in, when you really want something of your own, this becomes important. And that will happen over and over again because you are a girl and it will always be hard to admit that something is important to you, that something is yours, because you are made to feel like you have to justify it and you can’t. That feeling doesn’t leave. It seems silly now, but I never stopped wanting to figure out which princess was mine.

And then I discovered Anna. I have never identified with a movie character more in my entire life. She is my princess and upon realizing that I also realized that I don’t have to justify that, so no, I will not explain why she is mine. I will not explain why I identify with her so deeply. It is now more important to me to know who my princess is than to explain it to you and that is so refreshing to finally be able to say.

Anna believes there is hope, she believes in love, and she believes in these things with all her heart. She has this innocence about her, but she knows what she wants and she shares what she thinks and she is unapologetic about using her voice, even when it’s not what other people want to hear. She never seems to think she has to explain to others the things she likes and wants. She represents so many messages that girls should have been exposed to long ago.

And that’s why I love Frozen.